Secret # 5

Always kiss each other good night AND good morning. Even if it's over the phone due to one or the other being not being able to be there in person.

I have these 2 signs hanging in our bedroom as reminders, although I don't believe we need the nudge!

All too often we get so busy in our daily routines and demands that it is too easy to forget the most important things that we really need to reinforce...our love for each other.

Make it a wonderful habit......

Secret # 4

Always bring your mate coffee in the morning and their favorite beverage in the evening.

This is one of those little things that we alternately do for each other. It's not even anything that we consciously think about...medrely one of those thoughtful things that seem to convey the fact that you consider the other's needs and satisfaction as important as yours.

It is not a subservient action and because it is never taken for granted it just seems natural.

The fact that it is yet one more opportunity to share time and simple pleasures is simply a bonus!

...about those loves notes! (Secret #1)

Oh Lini, those lovenotes. They totally made me laugh! Why, you ask? I can guarantee you that if I come home and there's a yellow post-it on a kitchen cabinet, it doesn't say "I love you sweetie pie", but rather "on a SWAT call" or "did you pick up toilet paper?".

Does this mean I feel less loved than Lini?

Well, at times, YES. And those are the times when I'm being really unfair to the Husband. Some men are demonstrative in their love, some are more of the "well, I'm married to you" variety. And while I'm sure we'd all love the former, the latter is ok too! We just have to change our Cinderella story to match our reality, not the world's.

But I did give a not-too-subtle hint to the Husband about the notes. Let's see if I have any luck. :)

How about the rest of you? Love notes? No loves notes? How do YOU know he loves you?

Do tell...

Secret # 3 but probably should be # 1

Don't stop shaving your legs in the winter......more to come....


OK,sorry I've been away from the blog.

My take on this is simple. Often after being with someone for a period of time we get very comfortable with the status quo and stop doing the simple things that make a difference. Now for me that is my husband taking the time to shave his face everyday to reduce the risk of "stubble burn" when we kiss (yes,we still do that!) I assume that for him, shaving my legs has the same desirable effect! That's not to say that we can't relax and be ourselves..just try not to lose the glow!

Secret # 2

Make time to share each other's  "tales of the workplace"..or golf course.. or class or any of the sometimes mundane and/or frustrating day to day experiences. This task is best accomplished at the end of the day with a glass of wine or cocktail in hand for both of you! Depending on the tone, it may require two!!!


I can't imagine which institution I'd be calling home today if it hadn't been for M's mostly undivided attention and endless patience in acting as my sounding board all this time!
I'm the first to admit, I've created a lot of challenges for myself through the years with my choice of career moves,etc. To have that shoulder to cry on when you hit a wall or,conversely, the hand to "high five"  when you scale the mountain makes all the difference.
That's not to say there weren't times that the consolation took on a philosophical tone such as when he would ask "Honey, how many times are you going to run head on into that wall before you figure out that there is a way around it?" Needless to say,those comments,however insightful,were met with less than overwhelming enthusiasm or appreciation by me!



I'd like to think I have been as helpful to M,but I accept that I'm not always as patient. It took awhile to learn to rein in my desire to kick some butt (no..not his) when he would share his workplace horror tales!

Secret # 1

Save the (almost daily) "post it" love notes and even prominently display them,at least the PG rated ones!


I have compiled stacks of love notes through the years and although I am not as good at leaving them, it always brings a smile to my face to find the note upon waking,or arriving home from a long night or day of work.
The element of surprise is my best tactic. He might find one in his lunch box or jacket pocket or under his pillow...and he better hope that if it's not from me,he finds it first!!!!


Any ideas on how to preserve them? I'm all ears.....

The Code

I  begin with a wonderful gift given to me by a dear friend on my wedding day because it is what we try to live by. I am attributing this to my friend,Paula Olsen. I'm not sure if she wrote it but she did bestow it upon us and I thank her from the bottom of my heart :


                                                       SIMPLY MARRIED
                                             A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT

                                                
                                                    Be nice, be kind 
                                                  Support me and I you
                                              Let me have my little place
                                                 in this world and please
                                                 make a place for yourself

                                             Let me have my "heyday", then
                                             bring me back to earth gently
                                                Be happy when I do well
                                                      Celebrate with me
                                                   I'll do the same for you

                                                 Love me late at night
                                               and let me love you back
                                             Let's have picnics on our bed
                                                  share secrets, fantasies
                                                     our fears and pain

                                                     Bend and grow with me
                                              This way and that, here and there
                                                   We'll have "couple" friends
                                                      and each have our own
                                                        We'll be together
                                                         and by ourselves

                                                              It's easy
                                                   if we don't make it hard
                                                         Let's agree that
                                                              we'll be
                                                          simply married

The Beginning

I am starting this blog in response to the oft asked question "how do you two stay so in love after all these years?" 

My stock answer is "you wouldn't believe me if I told you" and even if you did,you may find it difficult to understand.

There are thousands of books,articles & blogs out there on how to achieve a succfessful,long lasting relationship.

This is not one of those! This is simply my own perspective and reflections of one...mine.

I am adding a disclaimer that these "helpful hints" are relative to my relationship and may not have any effect on someone else's unless they happen to be as crazy as Mike and I must be!

That being said, I will attempt to share my secrets of a journey that began with a parking lot date invitation in the year 1984...